Wednesday, December 17, 2003
dreaming of sleeping next to you...
well...i haven't been on here for a while, so i thought i'd write something for the sake of those who actually read this...i think there's about 3 people who read this, and the ocassional drifters...it seems that all i write about is JR, mostly b/c not much else is on my mind, especially at the time i write these, by then i'm tired and don't want to think, and then JR floats back to the front of my mind again and he pushes everything from the day back to the back of my brain where it waits for me to begin thinking about it in the morning...i love talking to JR, he makes me laugh every time, no matter how crappy i feel...he doesn't know it but sometimes i can have something that really sucks happen to me in a day, but when i think about him it makes it go away for just a little bit! (now he knows!! hehe) JR means so much, he's one of the most important people in my life right now, he's right up there with my family! i get to see him during my Christmas break! i'm SOOO excited! i think we're "official" now... we call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, so i suppose... if that's official, then that's what we are! i miss him all the time! more than i should probably! but oh well...it's nice, i like what i have and i wouldn't trade it in for the world! i ran out of things to say and i need some sleep!!
Posted at 08:19 pm by tress
Saturday, November 22, 2003
oh how i wish you were here...
well.... it's about 3-1/2 days until i get to see my JR...i'm so excited i can barely contain myself! i just got off the phone with him about 20 minutes ago! i'm so happy i've got all this adrenaline running through my veins, and i could run around the outside of my house 5 times in the snow with shorts on!...but at the same time i'm so tired i could fall asleep and not wake up for days! and of course, going to his mom's house for thanksgiving..you know what that means! i get to meet the WHOLE family, his brother, sis in law, nephew, aunt, uncle, EVERYONE!!! i'm excited..but extremely nervous, i'm already really shakey!! hmm..i'm kinda out of things to say now...so maybe i should stop while i'm ahead?!! i don't know! i'll just stop now!
Posted at 08:29 pm by tress
Sunday, November 16, 2003
in this moment i am happy
well...so far things are going good! jr and i seem to be getting somewhere...and i'm happy, and i'm pretty sure he's happy, too! thanksgiving is coming up...oooooo how exciting! :P jr was going to come here for thanksgiving, but things happened and he isn't able to come now :( but we've worked out a way that i may be able to go see him and his family on thanksgiving, and my parents are currently deciding whether i can go or not! and so far it's looking like it might happen! it's been a little over a month since i last saw jr...but it feels like it's been FOREVER!!
my highschool volleyball team(that i'm not on) made it to state volleyball...they didn't win against the team they played, but they played an awesome game!!
sunday's are always the most boring day, and for some odd reason i always get headaches on sunday the most! if someone can explain that you should let me know!!! ;) my dad is watching a show about WWII b/c my grandpa served in that war it's very facsinating to our family! even though theres a little too much gore for me to watch the shows! :)
but i think i'm gonna sign off for now, i'm running out of things to talk about!
Posted at 02:38 pm by tress
Saturday, November 08, 2003
...i'll wait for you as long as you want me to...
...another night alone sitting at the computer waiting for something exciting to happen...it seems like no matter how much i wish something exciting would happen, nothing ever does, and it ends up being another boring night! i stay up late most nights because i don't want the morning to come...i'm not ever sure why...but tonight i know that if i go to bed now, and when i wake up in the morning...that's quite a while before i get to talk to J.R... i'll have to wait until tomorrow afternoon, it's almost as if i think that if i stay awake, eventually he'll think of me and call me...(it hasn't worked yet...hehe)
the best nights at the computer are when J.R. is online and i can talk to him, it always makes me happy when i see him log on! he might come see me for thanksgiving! it's less than a month away now!(about 20 days) i'm so excited... i can't wait to see him!! i know that i want to go to the same college as he does in a couple years from now, but...it's a matter of money, and finding the right college for me... i wish that my needs didn't matter in this situation, or just that i could finish college fast and be down there now!
...i'm so tired, that i'm not tired... so i can't decide if i should go to bed now... or wait a little bit longer...it is midnight, and i have church in the morning...so maybe i should just call it a night and go to bed...
Posted at 11:39 pm by tress
Thursday, November 06, 2003
boredom eats away at your brain...
hey... i'm very bored... i really have no one to talk to at the moment..i'm just chillin' like a villain!!
jr's friend had a birthday last night...so they're out having some fun!! :)
well i thought i had a bunch of stuff on my mind, but now that i look deeper... there's nothing in there...so i guess i'll just leave it at that! i'll have something more to say soon i'm sure!
~*~ tress ~*~
Posted at 09:19 pm by tress
Sunday, November 02, 2003
i just got home from church and i'm getting ready to head out again, but i wanted to write some thoughts down before i took off!!
first off...last night was slightly depressing...i don't think a drunk guy understands how much power he has to emotionally hurt someone(me for example) last night j.r.(who i've metioned in my 1st entry) came online, and i said hi to him and he said hey back, and i asked him what he was doing and he never answered... then he left...that's not like him to do that, and it makes me wonder if somethings up...like maybe he doesn't really like me, and maybe he's "cheating" on me(if you can do that before you start going out with someone)...i can't decide if i can trust him yet, he hasn't really done anything to prove to me that i can trust him while he's a state away from me... :( i don't really know what to do, if i should proceed with the relationship if that's what he wants to do, or if i should back off either way..(if you have suggestions please let me know!!)
i guess i should get moving.... signing off...
Posted at 12:51 pm by tress
Saturday, November 01, 2003
i've been looking for colleges recently. i have sent in my application for SCC, and I want to go to school in oklahoma after i finish at SCC. i told my mom that and she laughed at me! the college in oklahoma is the only college that i have found that offers a degree in commercial photography... the college is not the main reason why i want to go to oklahoma...but it's a big part of it, the main reason why i even started looking at schools in oklahoma is because of j.r.(my guy friend). but my mom seems to think that i won't go to oklahoma...would she rather i go to florida, or california..or someplace farther away?! b/c i will if that's what she wants! but b/c of my parents... i don't think j.r. and i will be able to make it work! i really really want to, b/c i like him... and i'm pretty sure he likes me, maybe not as much, but i think he does like me enough. although sometimes he doesn't seem like he wants to talk to me, i think maybe he still wants to have a relationship with me, but the whole state between us isn't helping any!! i get depressed sometimes when i think about him b/c i know it's going to be hard to get to him, but other times it makes me happy to think about him, and stuff that he says sometimes, sometimes he says exactly the right thing to make me feel like i'm on top of the world...but then other times he'll bring up an ex girlfriend or something(and i do it too) my heart will sink back down to where it was before. right now if i could have anything, it would be to make it possible to be together more often!
Posted at 08:38 pm by tress